I often wonder why it hurts our self respect to admit our financial inability to afford something. Why is it so important to prove to our social circle that we are as well off as most of them are? And in order to prove this, it is deemed quite acceptable to go to any length imaginable. No wonder the financial sector took good advantage of this human psyche by getting us addicted to the curse of credit card. After all it is a great way of getting almost everything we want whether we can actually afford it or not. And more importantly, no one will find out that it was bought on credit since we did not have to ask any of our family or friends for a loan either. Hence, a win-win situation. Or so it seems.... until much later!
Some would argue that the people around us push us into this rat race as not doing so would make us a social outcast. Probably so! But isn’t the root cause a little deeper than those around us? Forget about others for a minute (if at all possible) and let us simply ask ourselves how we would personally feel attending two consecutive parties (with the same guest list) in the same outfit? Is it not about our own insecurities and lack of self worth way more than what others may think or say about us? Believe it or not, it always is about us. It is simply easier to blame ‘them’ instead!
I have no formal education in psychology so am hardly an expert in the field but I cannot help wondering why we measure our worth with regards to our material possessions rather than base it on our values and virtues, the strength of our character and all that we have learnt from our experiences over the years. Perhaps this is so because it is easier to accumulate all that money can buy. This is the short-cut to feeling successful, as worthy as our colleague/neighbor or a friend. But then where does one draw the line? Exactly how rich is rich enough? How many (and how expensive) party outfits in a season are sufficient to make us feel good about ourselves? Is there really an end to it at all?
These are very natural thoughts Batool. You are a thinker and are naturally questioning our traditions that are steeped in the rat race of "keeping up with the Jones'. If you really think about our religion, which preaches "contentment" and "humility", then a practicing muslim society should be devoid of such un-Islamic practices as you have mentioned above. It just goes to show how contradicting our traditions are vis a vis our religion.
ReplyDeleteHmm Fatima,
ReplyDeleteAsalam o alikum,
from a different prespective, all wants or needs corrospond to our satisfactions,
irrespective, we seem to be satisfied with other's recognition, rather than our own principled self. (Unfortunately the dilemma is if we had one still).
Lack of Parental Love & devotion, distorted education & degenerated social & cultural webs, unfaithful rather treacherous friends have made us turned into creatures rather than cherishable humans.
Let us all hunt down our real Persona's,
Let us just ask, who am i ? & do i deserve to be recognized ? (Yes, Outside our material pocessions)
Hope to have given you an answer or at least pointed towards the path.
Dear Batool,
ReplyDeleteGood to find you here exchanging your thoughts and I must say that these thoughts are drafted very well.
I feel the answer to this never ending need for money and more money lies in the age old human need to belong to groups and cliques. In the process of doing so we actually start adapting ourselves to the ways and methods of those around us, forgetting that the others can also like us for who we are and not what we own. Its more like one trying to live a fantasy and loosing their grip on to reality. And of course one fantasy leads to another and another. The problem only arises when the bubble bursts and the fantasies crash into harsh realities!